Kita

"I'm Not One" explores an Angel/Doyle attraction, and the reasons why it could never be. What inspired you to write this particular story?

I have never been completely satisfied with the way Angel is portrayed onscreen...I tend to think he is made a bit too fluffy for the younger viewers. There has got to be more to the man, and the Demon, than meets the eye. I read the Novelized version of the premiere, "City Of", and found a scene that was edited for the television version. Angel finds the body of Tina, the woman he failed to save, and she has been drained by a vampire. There are still-bleeding puncture wounds on her neck. In the series, he touches her, and walks away. In the book, however, he touches her *neck*, places his two fingers into her wound, and licks the blood clean. Then, horrified at what he has done, he howls, and runs away. THAT is the Angel I enjoy writing about, the one so clearly torn between what and who he truly is, and who he wants to be.

In "I'm Not One", I used Doyle because he was innocent, attractive, and had admitted an attraction to Angel on the show. But this is a theme I play on often in my fics. The Darker Side of Angel.

You write a lot of slash fiction, most of it on the dark side. What draws you to this particular genre?

Like I`ve mentioned, I think it is a great challenge to write not just horror fiction, but horror fiction that makes someone *think*, that makes someone *feel*. To be able to get inside the protagonist's head..and make the reader empathize with him, even when he does something unconscionable...that's what drew me to the Dark side of fic.

As for what drew me to slash...I found that most of the authors of slash were older, more mature, and on the whole, a very talented bunch. So when I started reading fic, I was immediately attracted to slash. I'd never written anything like it before, but I figured I'd give it a try...and it quickly became an obsession. Now it's my main genre. I have written some hetfic, but to tell you the truth, I didn't enjoy it half as much. This is definitely my "niche".

I think many readers and writers would agree that fanfiction is an odd hobby. When did you first start writing fanfiction? How do you feel about the first story you wrote? Do you share your writing with friends and family?

I don't know about fanfiction in general...I've done odder things...I suppose slashvampirefiction could be considered sort of odd...oh, OK. Most people probably think it's nuts. But you have to do what you love, or what's the point?

I started writing fanfic less than a year ago. As I said earlier, I started out reading it, then thought.."I wanna try my hand at writing it!"

I love the first story I wrote, and although I think my writing has improved since I wrote it, I wouldn't change a word of it. It's like..my baby or something, and it makes me happy the way it is. I have some friends in the fanfic world, and I have told most of my "real life" friends about my hobby. My mom has seen my site and is rooting for me to win The Sept. Halo Award. But my mom is kinda weird..*G* My husband loves my writing style, but is a little perplexed as to my slash-genre choice.

Now the cheesy question, but I must ask. Do you have a favorite BtVS/A:tS character and/or episode?

Angel, of course. He's got the most depth, the most possibilities, and the cutest butt. Cheesy answer too, sorry.

My favorite episode of BtVS was "Enemies"...it had every theme I am drawn to...betrayal, lust, jealousy, love, fury, forgiveness...Faith vs. Buffy, and it had Angel/Angelus. That kind of dichotomy is what makes me want to write.

Are there any routines you follow when you write? (as in music you listen to, a particular setting, etc.)

No, I've found that a lot of my stories just write themselves in my head, often at very inconvenient times..like at work, or asleep, or driving. If I sit down at the computer and try too hard, it never works. I can't force myself to write anything. So I guess I'm well suited for fanfic, 'cause I would never be able to manage the deadlines a real author has imposed on them.

I love the lyrical grace of your writing. In the story archived here, you use lines from a Meat Loaf song to great effect. Are there any other songs, stories, poems, etc. that inspire you?

I like anything with a seductively dark theme. I like stories and poems that touch on themes regarding atypical sex, violence, and death..anything taboo or fearful...but with a certain quality to them that just draws the reader in. For example, Ginsberg's poem, "Please Master", and the novel by P. Bryte,"Lost Souls". There are frightening, and sometimes repulsive images in both, but you cannot look away, and cannot put them down. I think it's a great talent to be able to turn what scares us into something that turns us on; to make evil lovable.

Finally, who do you like to read, both in the fanfic world and published works?

I loved Ann Rice's original Vampire Trilogy, as well as her Witch Series. I love Ginsberg and Sandburg's poetry. I read a lot of nonfiction, mostly regarding Majik, Tarot, the Kaballah.

As for fanfic, it was Maayan who inspired me to write fanfic in the first place, especially slash fanfic. Other favorite dark writers of mine include Jessica Walker, Esmerelda and Te, and on the lighter side, I love Saber and Spirit.

You can read more of Kita's fanfiction at her website, Slashing the Angel.